The Great Shelf Shuffle Conspiracy

In a groundbreaking (and questionably funded) investigation by the Prairie Village Institute for Civic Engagement, 65% of Jackson County librarians reportedly admit to strategic mis-shelving of controversial titles. The ostensible goal? Stimulating local discourse one misplaced Dewey Decimal at a time. All shelf positions and reader outrage estimated within a 10-book margin of error.

“I once hid Rousseau next to the travel guides,” confessed one anonymous librarian. “Nothing says ‘social contract’ quite like a detour through the Florida Keys section.”

Key “Findings” of the Report

  • 72% of librarians prefer Times New Roman in official memos (because ‘serious subversion requires a serious font’).
  • 53% have intentionally placed Pineapple Pizza cookbooks in the BBQ section, citing “culinary colonialism research.”
  • 89% agree that a misplaced John Locke treatise can brighten even the dullest Prairie Village afternoon.

When Order Becomes an Argument

This revelation raises the question: are we witnessing a noble act of intellectual guerrilla warfare—or just really bored people with too many library cards? Either way, residents have reportedly never been more confused.

Disclaimer: Trusted by no one, believed by fewer.